100th post!!!

argh, I really can't hold back any longer.
Since y'all have been so patient, the first part of the Finale!
It's at the end of this post.
But first, some shit to go through.

Ok, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN AKA MR PANSY!!!!
yeah. although this post be a couple of days late.
boy, retard birthdays are hard to remember.
Please help by spamming in the cbox when yours is approaching.

Here is an excerpt from a conversation:

[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
gah
what to do for friday...

LukZ.... says:
dunno
i hv no idea

[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
sunday morning XD u think u can do?
or something simpler

LukZ.... says:
i don't know
i think i can do it
the verse only
i mean

karthik says:
seoul garden, botak jones, gym, music

[\7()[-[}\}^5$] says:
WTF


says it all. Example of pure stupidity.
Besides, the Karthik following in school is getting huge.
Well, it's growing slowly at any rate.

---------------------------------------------------
OK, folks. All updates to be posted in this section
cuz it's here. officially.
---------------------------------------------------

ignore the earlier posts dating back to last year...
this is the new shit. there’s stuff I wished I had thought of earlier.
throughout the story, I’ll try to include as many ‘tards as possible.
so…enjoy. or else =p

oh, and some credits first.
first, to Bugs, for giving me loads of stupid ideas for this story
to Lord MegaDeath, who has suffered two years of exile waiting for this
to all the other retards, for being the subject of this epic tale
and of course, to the douche who is reading this.





---Foreword---



How do you write a story?

Some people come up with wild, fantastic ideas.

Some people take those ideas from others.

And some people use their own, real life experiences.

All of them work. But a good story?

From an average writer?

It needs a balance of all three.



-----------
Prologue – Sometime in 2008
-----------
Background info: Halodude is leader of [US]. Soap Lord is asst leader.

The members of the Retard Council filed into the dimly lit chamber one by one, taking their usual places on the stone benches that encircled the stand in the centre. Last to enter was the patriarch of the retards, Halodude. As he made his way in, the mellifluous hum of conversation ceased at once. The tension in the air was palpable. It was the first anniversary of their formation, and there was certainly cause to celebrate, yet there was something inexplicably different about today. Perhaps it was the rumours of unrest, that the citizens were not content with the state affairs. Perhaps it was the murmuring around every corner, that rebellion was in the air. Perhaps someone farted. However, unknown gas emissions were commonplace, and the council would have evacuated long ago, or put on their standard-issue gas masks. No, something was amiss, something that no one present could pinpoint, yet all felt it without exception. Or, as one of the guards outside the door commented to his partner, “Something’s going down, man. I’m sure of it…”

Halodude cleared his throat and began to speak. The following debate was going to be of the utmost seriousness, and he would set the tone of the meeting.

Halodude: Wassup y’all! How’s shit?

Retards: *mumbling*

Halodude: You guys sound dead…Wtf?

Retards: *mumbling*

Halodude: Seriously… You haven’t had breakfast or what?

Soap Lord: Dude, you ate mine, remember!

Halodude: Hey, that was a mistake…besides, I was hungry..

Dumbortz: But then Soap ate mine!!!

J: And mine too!!

Retards: *general uproar*

All of a sudden, J0HnA55 gets to his feet.

J0HnA55: Silence!!!

Retards: *general uproar*

J0HnA55: Everyone, STFU!!!

Retards: *general uproar*

J0HnA55 pulls out some munchies.

Retards: *conspicuous silence*

J0HnA55: You guys want more of this?

Retards: *specific uproar*

J0HnA55: Bring ‘em in, MoneySeeker!

The doors burst open and MoneySeeker brings in a cart filled with munchies.

Retards: *frenzied charge towards munchies*

Bugs: Psst…J0HnA55

J0HnA55: What?

Bugs: Everything’s going according to plan.

J0HnA55: I know…I made the plan, stupid.

Bugs: Ok, dumbass. How about some breakfast first?

J0HnA55 and Bugs join in the stupidity around the cart. After a bit…ok, a lot, of breakfast, Bugs picks up a cream pie and throws it at J0HnA55’s face.

J0HnA55: Isn’t this a bit clichéd?

Bugs: Yeah, it is. Isn’t that the idea?

J0HnA55: Ah, what the hell. FOOD FIGHT!!!

In the ensuing confusion, MoneySeeker leaves the chamber and locks the doors from outside. No one notices it. Slowly, the retards tire. Then, Bugs makes his move.

Bugs: Hey, Halodude.

Halodude: Yeah?

Bugs: Eat this! *Throws a sack of flour at Halodude*

Halodude: Hey, WTF!! *blinded by the flour*

Retards: *cough* *hack* *wheeze* WTF?!

When the smoke…err…flour clears, Halodude and Soap Lord are seen gagged and bound in the center of the room. J0HnA55, Bugs and Lord MegaDeath are standing in a triangle around them.

J0HnA55: Fellow retards! We have long suffered under the tyranny of these two! Now is the time to rise, and break the shackles that have restrained us all this while!

Retards: Yaaaay!!

Dumbortz: Err…didn’t you make Halodude the leader?

J0HnA55: That’s not the point…As I was saying, we must rise against our oppressors!

Retards: Yaay!!!

J0HnA55: We shall make a stand for the good of retardkind!

Retards: Yay…!

J0HnA55: We will blah, blah, blah, bla bla……


Half an hour later….


J0HnA55: …now! *glances at crowd*

Retards: *snoring*

Bugs: *yawns* I think you overdid the speech again…

J0HnA55: *sigh*. Well, at least it worked. We’re in control.

He opens a packet of chips noisily. The retards spring awake at once.

J0HnA55: Rebel! Free munchies for all rebels!!

Retards: Yaaaay *go off to rebel*

Halodude: *grumble* *grumble*

Soap Lord: It isn’t so bad. Here, have some munchies!



Chapter One - Coming soon...