Just for laughs *updated*

I know, intellectual stuff does not fit in well here XD
but this is priceless. seriously.
don't worry if some of the technical terms bother you.
just read, you'll get the gist of it.

The following is an actual question given on a University chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting “Oh God!”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”



...nice exam answer, to say the least.
and here is some shocking information:

I'm going to stop posting.




Until the finale is over XD
Yup, it should be done in 2 weeks, max.
It's kinda fitting that the finale is the 100th post.
So read everything before this, quick.
Cuz the post is gonna be so huge....
everything is going to be pushed back to earlier posts.
and you 'tards are too lazy to go back XD (generalization)


*update*

yeah, i'm sticking to the 100th post thing.
we had a massive promotion campaign at school
helping me were ben and kartiki
speaking of kartiki (previously Spartan777)
he's promoted to platinum w/dishonors.
for UTTER STUPIDITY - making a jackass of himself in school.
in public. (well the canteen anyway)
and he's sorta got a cult following. go figure.
anyway I thought up a new "interview" for recruits.

Q1) What is your name?

Q2) What is your race?

Q3) Are you as dumb as you look?

I cannot reveal the model answers. Hehe. Everyone have a go anyway.
In the cbox.

Before I forget, here they are -

You Heard Me - God

god of what? i dunno. good freakin question.
heard what? i dunno. good freakin question.
what? i dunno - ah, screw it.

Osama - Your Mom

besides that the fact that you were born from a bearded terrorist....
wait, that's enough. freaky as it is.

Sponglie - The Sponge

Wow. What a poetic title. It's just coincidental.
I mean, how can it fit with the name so perfectly?

The former two start at Bronze, Sponglie at Silver.
Why? Unbalanced member list, I suppose.
Sponglie is the 3rd female member in [US]
ok Bugs. Stop bugging me about the need for female members, bugger.
hehe.

and I wake up every morning
With a big smile on my face
And it never feels outta place.

for the first time in years.
amazing, huh?

[J0HnA55]

Panic! At the Junior College?

cuz I'm gonna live a life from a new perspective XD
but seriously.
School posting results just came out.
I'm headed to Innova JC. hmmm. good? or bad?
put it this way, we have five retards headed there.
So....good =p

Me, Ichabot, Josh, the "unknown" retard and Mr Pansy (ben)
quite a "motley crue"..HA. HA.
(plus a swarm of potential recruits)
but enough with the music jokes.
this could be a good thing.
One, for the band.
Kenny (ichabot) is a great guitarist, ben is good at keyboard.
if we ever need a 3rd guitar/backup for Untold Prophecy...
it should either be ichabot or martin.
Martin just rocks. But he's always busy.
and his music tastes are a little...underground.

Anyway, since the JC is in Woodlands, travel comes easy.
I really hope school finishes in the late afternoon.
If I can make it back by evening, along with ben...
then band practice wouldn't be a problem XD
Hop Music is open for jamming on weekdays. Not on weekends.
Seems like business suicide to me, but I'm not in business =d

As for the band, the page will be up on Facebook soon.
I'll create it the moment we record the first cover.
the whole "cover" thing is actually quite useful...
firstly, we gain experience by playing songs as a band.
writing our own songs will come eventually, but not yet.
secondly, we will improve in our own playing skills.
thirdly, there's a sense of accomplishment, I suppose.
and also as a kind of advertisment XD that we can do stuff.

right now, I'm really going nuts with guitar training.
my fingers ache while typing this post.
practiced for like six hours yesterday..but it was fun.
I'm trying to master at least five songs a week.
Then I'll practice with Fab. That's the guitar down.
All we need is for drums and bass to start too.
I got my first Synyster Gates solo =p
it's at the end of The River by Good Charlotte

Of course, the main problem is instruments.
One guitarist has no electric guitar.
The bassist has no bass.
And the keyboardist only has a grand piano. No synthesizer.

Oh well. I suppose nothing comes easy.

[J0HnA55]

It was fun while it lasted

Well, school starts for me in two days.
Sien...

First up, I shall keep good my promise.
I've begun writing the "Finale"
Only it isn't a finale, I'm re-writing the whole damn thing.
A lot better now ( I think)
And it's gonna be huge.

Next, retard holidays.
I've set this list up

23/5 - "National Day" (formed on this day)

24/9 - "Emergence Day" - The blog was founded XD

plus assorted retard birthdays...

and events such as JP. But then again, it's not fixed.

third, more "words of stupidity" from Bugs and me
in a telephone conversation format

*telephone rings*

JA: Hello?

Bugs: Hello, Matthew's House?

JA: Uhh..what?

Bugs: Oh, sorry. I thought I was talking to Matthew's House.
It said so on my phone.

JA: *spastic laughter*

Bugs: *spastic laughter*

this continues for a while.
the masterpiece - Bugs was peeing in the toilet.
I said something stupid (didn't know he was peeing)

Bugs: Haha..don't make me laugh. I'm peeing

JA: *spastic laughter*

Bugs: OI

JA: *spastic laughter*

Bugs: *spastic laughter*

JA: *spastic laughter*

Bugs: OH SHIT, IT'S SPRAYING EVERYWHERE!!!

JA: *spastic laughter*

Bugs: *spastic laughter*

then I dropped the phone and fell over.
good times XD


just to give a preview, here's an excerpt from the prologue


"It was the first anniversary of their formation, and there was certainly cause to celebrate, yet there was something inexplicably different about today. Perhaps it was the rumours of unrest, that the citizens were not content with the state affairs. Perhaps it was the murmuring around every corner, that rebellion was in the air. Perhaps someone farted. However, unknown gas emissions were commonplace, and the council would have evacuated long ago, or put on their standard-issue gas masks.."


at least 5 chapters in the story.
The 300 part will be there, as well as Halo, Tenacious D and loads more.
But it might take a while. I'm outta ideas...
MegaDeath! Do something...

[J0HnA55]

As days go by...

my heart grows cold
I can't seem to let this all pass me by
Take Me - Papa Roach

heart grows cold? lunch, more like it.
Not like Fab would let that happen if he's around.
I gotta learn self defense during meal times...

But it's true. The days go by damn fast.
Hols are almost over (for me, that is. And Ben and Jon)
Let's not go into the whole complaining thing for now.
However, time is running out for me.
And not cuz my JC posting results are out soon.
I'm supposed to start on the finale before hols are over.
So...any ideas? Anybody?? Help??
From what I remember, Soap Lord was busy in Crapture.
And the Gears of War invaded. ok.... so what now?
this might take a while. MegaDeath!! Do your job as h4xx0r!!
launch an invasion or something. I'm bored to death.

But here is some stuff I may use:
Halo (duh)
Lord of the rings
Harry Potter
Avatar (cuz its awesome)
Scroggin

As to the last, it's kinda of an inside joke.

What is Scroggin?
Doesn't sound like something you should eat XD
actually, it's New Zealand cadbury choclate.
Jon brought some back when he came.
I'll save some for you eh =p
then again, when I say "you"...first come first serve

but seriously. Scroggin.
It sounds...retarded. That's the way.
Well, it's just another name in our history of Stupidity.
It will be remembered.
Cuz love doesn't make the world go round.
(at least, not all the time)
Stupidity does.

so anyway Jon goes back on Sunday.
We 'tards won't see each other for a while.
Jon in NZ, Ivan in Mount Austin...
J in Kulai, me and Ben in Singapore... rest of u in JB.
Not even including the SSU ppl.
(Which reminds me, I gotta initiate them soon =p)
but we can meet on weekends. some of us.
or every day. They made Facebook for a reason.

By the way, go watch Tooth Fairy.
It's worth it. Trust me.
Hmm...that sounds familiar too.

Scroggin Is Retarded.
[J0HnA55]

BREAKING NEWS

and its not about the O Level Results...
You know that seriously epic-awesome-cool movie, Avatar?
15 Years in the making they say...should be epic right?
Well, at least the technology and graphics. Undisputed.
But how about the plot?
Director's the dude who made the Titanic.
So it should be an original, exciting, moving plot?
Exciting, moving, awesome maybe. But original?
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS SHIT

















sry that it's small, try saving and zooming in..but..
Amazing, huh?
I saw all kinds of references in the show...
But not on this scale. Nope. No way.
Of course, I wouldn't remember the plot of old Disney shows..
Plus one that I watched when I was like...four?
But seriously. WTF?

In shock and awe,
[J0HnA55]

sheesh

this is a public service announcement
It is purely to stop complaints from "subversive elements" XD
Moneyseeker has been unexiled (a few months ago)
and cleared of most charges...note the wording
He produced an iPod, but due to "unfortunate" circumstances..
Bugs and I are unable to accept them. Me, at least.
But at least he produced it. That returns some credibility.
Even though it was well over the deadline.

So in order not to spoil all of your moods...
(I know. It does it to me too)
Here is some hilarious shit.

"Reasons to sleep with an IB student"
(replace IB with whatever the hell you want)

We can serenade our partners in at least 2 different languages
Our Physicists are experts at handling the forces between two objects
Our Biologists know their way around the human body better than any other 6th form student
The chemistry in a relationship is mere child’s play to our higher Chemists.
Our Mathematicians’ knowledge of projectile motion means that things will never get messy – unless you want them to
We are experts at getting the maximum amount of work done with the least amount of effort
Our English syllabus puts a lot of emphasis on oral assessment
It's widely recognised that IB is longer and harder
Our Computer Scientists can push all the right buttons
Our Economists know just how to supply what you demand
A session with one of our Pyschologists will relieve stress and help you sleep at night; and I'm not talking about Insomnia Therapy
We IBers fall asleep in class so that we can get more done at night.
We treat you like we treat our homework - we slam you on the table and do you all night long
Our Geographers know what to push and how to pull
Essays aren't the only long thing we can pull out of our pockets at a moment's notice
Our musicians will bring things to a slow swell followed by a climax
We can assess you both externally and internally.
Our Historians will make it a night to remember
Our Design & Technology students can handle a short nail or a long screw
Our Environmentalists know all about getting dirty
Our Geologists Make The Bed Rock
Our Electrical Engineers Do It with More Frequency and Less Resistance
Our Astronomers Do It Under the Stars, All Night Long
Our Spectroscopists Do It Until It Hertz

yeah, last 5 are kinda bad jokes. who the hell cares?
hope that makes up for the inconvenience

Irritatedly yours
[J0HnA55]

Bands, Vids, and other random stuff

Looks like the extended holidays with everyone at school is good..
for the blog at least.
I'm posting way more now. I suppose that's a good thing? Maybe not.
oh well. Stfu and read XD

Vids before the bands. Vids are just epic.
This guy is just hilarious. Comedian, not musical like JonLaJoie.
But he still owns. He's like a combination of Peter Chao and Russell Peters.
You know all those hilarious/stupid Japanese "Pocky" ads?
Those stick-like biscuits with flavour at the tip?
check this parody out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CESMlfJx_p0
then a rant about parents - he always acts as multiple characters.
His voice and accents change so much, reminiscent of Russell Peters.
But he's still got that "gangsta" thing like Peter Chao (also on Youtube)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1OUAPNyx08&feature=channel
go see the sequels to this video too.
to add to it, here are more awesome vids
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHKMMgrCcZo&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRGA-V5GOsQ&feature=channel

AND THIS IS THE BEST OF ALL
He parodies lame kiddy shows by making one of his own - CRACK BABY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzqGu2OLri8&feature=channel
Some people might just find it stupid..it sure is stupid.
But wait for the "Garbage song"
I dunno why but it gave me another 5 minute laughing fit...
just like "cold blooded christmas" =p

moving on...

Band. Yes, the United Stupidity official band.
Well, not really official. Or stupid. Just affiliated.
Name? CRACK BABY XD joking la...Untold Prophecy
Why? Can't think of a name, Fab's old band - disbanded
So we're continuing the trend...sort of.
Anyway, members.
These KEEP CHANGING
Current list - as usual, unconfirmed.
Vocals/Guitarist - Fabian
Vocals/Guitarist - me
Bassist - Reutens
Keyboardist - Ben
Manager/Groupie - Jono (LOL)

notice it's a little screwed up?
Andy has resigned, cuz he says he's really busy this year.
Maybe he just wants to play metal =d LOL
but it's a waste. He's damn talented...
You should see him doing Beast and the Harlot. Sounds perfect.
Dumbortz is trying to get a friend of his to be our drummer.
We also need a proper singer. This could be quite hard.
Reason - If we ever wanna move up from high school band...
We can't just be mediocre. We gotta be AWESOME.
So Fab and I are kinda out for vocals...
unless we go for voice training or something..but hard to plan.
Then, there's the obvious question of instruments.
We can only jam at the studio, even if we found somewhere else.
CUZ FABIAN DOESN'T HAVE AN ELECTRIC GUITAR.
AND REUTENS DOESN'T HAVE A BASS GUITAR.
isn't that just great?
besides, I'm in singapore on weekdays.
The rest are tied up with tuition.
Looks pretty bleak to me...but....

Take a look at our members list. Aulos - /_337 |-|4XX0R
(he is not a H4XX0R, as in, the enemy. He's L33t! Boo, Megadeath)
He's got a band in Indonesia (well we're international remember?)
and they look like they're gonna make it. seriously.
they've gone ahead and contacted someone from Warner Music.
That's already damn good. One step further from being amateur.
go check it out. language shouldn't be a problem...
I mean, indon is similar to malay. given our education system..
So most of you should get the gist of it XD
it's partly in English too, don't worry
http://majorsband.wordpress.com/
there's a facebook group too. join for the heck of it, y'all.

So they're sort of successful. Right?
Hard to measure at that point.
All bands go through the initial struggle.
Think that where they are is difficult for us to attain?
The answer is quite simple, actually.
Not really.
All we need is to get our act together. (true, that's the hard part)
If all of us in the band put in some effort and dedication...
We'll get there soon enough. At least I hope so..
After all, most of us turn 17 this year.
Many bands hit off well at 18. So, a year of preparation?
See if we can get there faster.
Of course, we need to practice - Issue number one.
Sadly, weekdays are out. So weekends.
But everyone has their own stuff to attend too.
Tuition, church, CCA, the works.
I was thinking of 6pm, sunday, at Hop Music studio.
Either that or around the same time on Saturday.
If we practice on our own, once a week during school should be ok.
For starters, that is. Bands often meet every day.
That's impossible in our situation. So wait for the hols.
Also, we'll probably do covers of songs and such.
Maybe post 'em here. More like Facebook, actually.
I'll make a page or a group when we're ready.
Suppose it'll give us some sense of achievement or sumthin.
As for writing our own songs...that's a tough one.
Take Linkin Park. Good enough band, I think =D (official too)
Minutes To Midnight was a long time in the making.
They produced thirteen great songs. (I kinda like all of em =D)
So long to produce thirteen songs? I mean, years!
But for each success, there were dozens of failures.
The point? Don't worry. The greatest produce loads of crap.
However, each load contains a diamond or two. So - persevere XD
Just try and record or write down lyrics, riffs, beats, whatever.
Who knows? They could be useful someday.

Issue number two - The Instruments AKA Cash, Cash, Cash.
As a side note, Hop Music costs RM20 an hour (for students)
Even the discounted price is taxing. We need somewhere to jam.
Preferably at the drummer's house? No need to move stuff so much.
But it all depends, you see.
So I think Reutz can get a bass quite easily.
Bugs is another problem though.
Ideas, anyone? I'm running short.

Issue three - Wait, we don't need an issue three.
Those two are killing us already.

And what do we aim for?
I'll try and be realistic here.
5 - 10 covers by June. Recorded at least..who knows.
Why June? THE FESTIVAL OF ARTS aka FOA.
FOA. Kicked our asses last year cuz 4 OF US COULDN'T MAKE IT.
That was just epic fail. This year, we're gonna be prepared.
Think of it as a starting stage for us.
Win or no win, it's experience. Valuable enough.
Any other events before that would be useful....
But we need the basic experience. Jam together.
All of us have some measure of experience and "talent".
But nearly none as a band, a full, functional band.
The only time I got near that was practice for a school concert.
It was to be for our Sec4 graduation night.
Full band, with Synyster/Ichabot at bass and me for a guitar.
We did 21 guns and New Divide at the studio.
It was epic. The feeling, at least.
Of course, events went awry, I didn't end up playing. Long story.
The songs were scrapped. Wasted weeks of practice.
they played something "simpler", kinda screwed up
Maybe it was technical failures too. But the potential - was there.
So, we're aiming for that potential.
Who knows, maybe we'll be touring the States in ten years?
It's extremely difficult to make it as a local band. Nearly none have.
The road is a long and winding one.
But are we gonna quit? I think not.
So good luck, guys. We're gonna need it. And to Major[5] too.
You'll need it more than us (for now at least) =D

and to all the people out there waiting...
I'm finally working on the final version of the finale =D

Untold Prophecy FTW
[J0HnA55]

School's In...oh wait

school started already eh...
not for me XD waiting for O lvl results...
actually, that's worse. shit.
so right now, the only free people are me, Jono, and Ben (the pansy)
we're all stuck in JB with nothing to do.
so we went to singapore to watch a football match: singapore vs iran
quarter finals for the asean cup if I'm not mistaken...
before that, we went to play pool (not water-based, dumbass)
then we were at Timezone...guitar hero arcade FTW =D
the match itself was pretty meh. singapore lost 3-1.
the real action was going on in the audience =d
there were a bunch of malay dudes...making fun of iranian cheers
I have no idea what language the iranians were speaking...
but the translations sounded remarkably funny -

"Lim Bo Seng! Lim Bo Seng!"
malay guy - no, not that, it's
"Mee Goreng! Mee Goreng"
and now it's
"Thoseh! Thoseh!" (indian food)
malay guy - those guys must be hungry

see what I mean?
but the hilarious thing was that the Iranians (the ones at the side)
were TOTALLY CLUELESS. They thought the guys were SUPPORTING them.
they kept smiling at them. one even gave a FLAG to them. Hysterics ensued.
And by that, I mean laughter. Some Iranian cameraman even filmed them.

and then, the hammer fell.
one of the dudes pulled out a lighter.
I was like, OH SHIT. THIS LOOKS VERY BAD.
and he just slipped it back in his pocket. phew.
looks like I had the wrong impression. lucky for everyone.
If he did what I thought he was going to do...damn.
maybe he was just gonna light a cigarette or sumthin.

so after the match, we wandered around, singing "I gotta feeling" again
specifically, jon. he always sings that when he's high and shit.

SPEAKING OF JON,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU OLD FAG (he's 17 already)
Always remember his...damn early in the year.
so it's kinda like a post-new year celebration.
those parties at Sri Mulia condo used to be the bomb..
loads of random stuff I remember.
like Tamiya cars, dragonball Z fighting games, digimon shaker pets..
pokemon toys and cards...oh yeah and Andy puked in the pool XD
those were the freakin days huh? wait, these ARE the freakin days.
so give it up once again for the guy who can't plan for nuts!!!!
I just had to say that =p

besides, ben got a stomachache (they seem to occur often -read previous post)
so we waited around and acted like idiots..as usual.
then we had to find our way back to the MRT after Ben went home
Jon was staying at a friend's house...I was staying with Martin
so we headed to the nearest bus stop...about 11am
and these Iranian guys (middle age i think)were stranded
they needed a taxi to take them to some hotel
so we tried to help em. I called a taxi for them just as we boarded the bus.
then I looked out the window. They DISAPPEARED.
You know what? I was just a little pissed.
So I had to frantically cancel the damn booking...

Green Day concert on the 14th in singapore btw.
Not that I think I can go - tickets are fucking expensive
so ben is going alone for now. lucky fag

Disappointedly yours,
[J0HnA55]

Shaddup and read

so the Jan 2 reunion was a freakin failure as a reunion...
only six people out of like thirty turned up.
but the day was actually pretty fun..
even though we were just wandering around a lot besides the movie and bowling
Movie? We watched Old Dogs. It's a great comedy.
And btw, if you haven't watched Avatar yet....
Get your ass to the cinema, now! Before they stop showing.
It's just epic. See for yourself.
so then me and Bugs were stranded at KS a long time because ppl were late.
Stranded at KS is actually pretty nice XD
still, it's the stupidity that makes great memories.
and I got a lot of retards around for that. Why?
Best friends won't let you do stupid things... alone.

And on that topic -

"We are friends.
You smile, I smile.
You cry, I cry.
You jump off a bridge...
I'm gonna miss ur sorry ass."








it fits
[J0HnA55]