and it gets closer.

AND CLOSER
THE FOA IS COMING.
ARE WE GONNA KICK THEIR FREAKIN A55ES?

maaybe.

actually, it's been postponed to July 18th. That adds 1 more month of practice.
But less time...O Levels gonna drive me mad. wait...I think I am already =D
well the band is probably still called Untold Prophecy.
can't think of anything, the name kinda stuck. any suggestions?

here's the official lineup

Bugs - Lead Vocals/Keyboard (if needed)
J0HnA55 - Guitar/Backup Vocals
Joshua - Guitar
Dumbortz - Bass
Yan Feng - Drums

Oh and The Watcher says he fell asleep while shitting once.
Sad there aren't any available promotion levels left.

and I'm STILL waiting

wait wait wait
it's been weeks since Halo wars was released...
...and I still don't have it.
ARGH
AAAAAAARGH

strange tho. I've read some negative reviews about it.
Gave it 60 something over a hundred.
someone can clarify this?


kinda bored (again), so here's an attempt at subliminal messaging;

Jokes are an extremely good way of entertaining people.
Often we find ourselves closer to those who make us laugh.
In a survey conducted by researchers, almost half of those surveyed agreed.
Not only that, laughter has also been proven to help control pain.

Unless you really are an emo person,you should tell more jokes.
So that you can understand the meaning of this message.

can you see the message in the above passage???


my electric guitar is really screwed up.
for one thing, the tuning is one key up (F,A#,D#,G#,C,F)
it can't seem to return to normal (believe it or not, F seems to be the lowest)
and the string emits a weird buzzing sound when I play it.
It's so loud the amp picks it up. And it sounds like shit.

More song suggestions: (sry for repeats)
The Day That Never Comes - Metallica
Second Hearbeat - Avenged Sevenfold
Free Falling - John Mayer
I Don't Care/Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy
Must Get Out - Maroon 5
Empty Apartment/Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard

Still waiting for that reply Dumbortz -_-"

Random Shit

FOAFOAFOAFOAFOAFOAFOA
WAH HEADACHE

had a "performance" recently
some random shit for school CIP (community involvement program)
play songs at an old folk's home
but...at the last minute they changed the song
so i sat there with my guitar away from the mic
and played RANDOM SONGS!!!!
and no one could hear what i was playing over the speakers. LOL.
seriously, WTH.

i think i'ma get started with the parodies again soon.
someone help meeee.....i'm outta ideas.
my mind's blank(er)...than usual

and now I have 4 hour tuition every saturday...omgwtf
but after that i almost nearly guaranteed can meet up with 'tards or watch movie
or shit like that. worth it? i dunno
and it doesn't apply near exam period...waaah.

and we're running out of retarded material. this is a disaster.

and here's some random emoness


The Beast Within

Sometimes you wish that someone would reach out and hold you. Tell you that everything will be OK, whisper that they love you, and say that it will all work out in the end.

Of course, they don't. They can't see that there is something wrong, or if they do, and ask, you don't know how to tell them that there isn't really anything wrong, there just isn't anything right either. You don't know how to explain that you feel numb. That you hate it. That you hate yourself.

It is hard to admit that you despise yourself, the shell you've become, the void that you are becoming. Harder to admit that the only thing that hasn't broken is your mind, and that the thin thread of sanity is only being held onto out of sheer desperation... a shaky grip at best.

So you have your Desperation, and the fragile hope that someone, somewhere, will break into the monotony of the life you are only half living, and save you from yourself. Unfortunately, You don't know how to let them in, because once they have broken through your walls of defense, they have every weapon they need to destroy you. They KNOW... and it scares you.

And so you continue... holding fast to your hope, and the dreams of a better tomorrow, slashing at your existence with the jagged blades of self-loathing. ALONE. And when the beast within you wins, you realize that deep down you have enjoyed the burning sensation in the pit of your stomach and the complete detatchment with which you view the world.

And every night before you go to bed, the child within the person you used to be battles the Terror that dwells inside the person you have become.

And every morning, you succumb to the beast within.


Lolz
random emoness
but kinda fits for a lot of people i guess
duh

i'm outta here
this place is tapped

[J0HnA55]

Disclaimer

yeah. before I get to the other stuff, this is a disclaimer.

This organization/blog/whatever, United Stupidity,
In no way are we attempting to make fun of the mentally challenged.
As members of our society, they should be given the extra amount of care needed.
Many of the posts and stuff mention some people as "retards".
Let me clarify this.
Most of us here prefer to see the brighter side of life.
This often displays itself in the stuff that we do.
And a lot of the stuff that we do is aimed at making us, and other people laugh.
"Retards" is mentioned as the stuff posted are often outside normal behaviour.
Or maybe it isn't. Just that nobody mentions it, or people forget.
They lose their memories. Memories can brighten your day when things are dark.
Of course, this is our brand of humour. Not everyone appreciates it.
Some people may think that some of it is "lame", or "weird".
Or otherwise its just plain "retarded".
Whatever it is, it's your opinion. You are entitled to it. We respect that.
But if you come to troll and flame against us, let me get this straight.
We can listen to you. But we do not need to take your shit.
Feel too embarassed to participate in harmless pranks? Wuss.
Or think that you're above it? Better than us in some way?
What if we think that you're an insignificant faggot?
Got a problem if we think that you're like that?
Too bad, loser. Get a life.
If you're fine with that, no problem. Everyone here is friendly. (I think...)
Stick around, socialize, laugh, enjoy life.
Otherwise, do us a favour and get the fuck outta here.
Before I come over and cut you from hole to hole.

Yours truly,
[J0HnA55]


meh. some people are really pissin me off.

as for the rest of the update...

It looks kinda certain that we're going to join the FOA this year.
Too bad Martin can't be our guitarist. Don't think he can come to Malaysia.
But he wouldn't really like the songs we'd perform anyway.
The lineup is still very shaky, but...

Fabian - Vocals
Me - Guitar
Yan Feng - Drums
Reutens - Bass

We need another guitarist. CALLIN ALL GUITARISTS!!!
(I know JB and Singapore are SWARMING with them)

narrowed down a few song choices, but I'd appreciate some suggestions.
Beast and the Harlot - Avenged Sevenfold
Holiday/Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Obviously, we need more feedback.


Halodude lent me his Burnout: Paradise City (hail him! HAIL HIM!)
it's pretty good. Free cruisin' in a GTA sized city.
Bad thing is the crashing. Literally. I'm a lousy driver -__-''
Oh well. Good side, I pwn road rage. haha.

Halo Wars is out. Finally.
But some reviews say it isn't really good.
Anyone can confirm this?



Man, I'm sleepy.
G'nite y'all.

Well, well, well.

Ahh. Dragged myself out of la la land to update this glorious dominion.
Being supreme dictator ain't that easy.
With great power comes great retardity...wait. that didn't come out right.

anyway...

First up, promotions! haven't done that for a while.
no new members either. should get in some fresh talent.
so first up, is Ichabot/Synyster6661/Kenny!!!
We went on a school trip of sorts to KL for a week.
Mostly we did outdoor stuff like rock climbing, rafting etc.
During abseiling, the key is to keep your legs apart.
This prevents you from spinning - and hitting the side of the cliff. ow.
and he forgot, and spun. a bit.
just a few cm away from the wall.
and.... he licked it.
yup. he licked the rock.
and he said it was salty.

much later, we were doing an obstacle course in Eagle Ranch, Port Dickson.
there was a mud pit we had to wade through.
it wasn't watery, mind you, it was THICK AND SLIMY.
and he went a bit too close.
and...well...
he said it tasted better than the rock.

Therefore, he is promoted to Platinum with Dishonor!
Platinum can be given immediately for performing feats others wouldn't want to try.
Dishonor? He didn't save some for us. LOL. HAHAHA
freaked you out eh

and next is...well, well, well.
This is the post name again, signifying the importance of this part.
A new rank has been created.
Platinum with dishonor...with dishonor.
AND IT GOES TO NONE OTHER THAN BUGS!!!!
Why? Why???!! WHY?!?!?!?1111!11


...I can't tell you =p
Under the new Retard Secrecy Act,
- Certain pieces of confidential information are now classified.
- These are potentially threatening to the wellbeing of the person.
- It is only viewable and permissible to view by the supreme leader. (well, me =D)
- Penalty for breaking this rule will not be imposed by United Stupidity.
- However, expect dismemberment, castration, and stampeding water buffaloes.
- This information may be filed under the "Retarded Book of Secrets"
- All blame for the above cliche goes to the producer of National Treasure 2.

well, there you have it.

and about the Fall Out Boy Concert yesterday...
please hold a second of silence for all those who could not attend.
namely, all of us. AAAAARGGH.
It's the A7X concert all over again.
Ask tons of people to go, none can make it.
oh well.


I now listen to opera and symphonies!!!

..I'm joking. right?
yeah. kinda.
but anyway, check out Nightwish.
It's a...symphonic metal band.
basically, they play symphonies. and metal. at the same time.
not really metal. much softer, a bit of rock and instrumental too.
sounds spastic, but actually is quite good.
although they're split into two kinds...
the old albums has a singer who belongs in opera, rather than in a band.
the new album (Dark Passion Play) has a normal singer.
listen to the difference and you'll know.
besides, a lot of piano and no screaming/shouting/yelling at all from what i heard.

Old albums
-----------
Ever Dream
Deep Silent Complete
Nemo
End of all hope
Elvenpath
Moondance

Dark Passion Play
-----------------
Amaranth
Eva
Bye Bye Beautiful
The Islander

those are the ones I have anyway.
personally I prefer the latest album, the opera singing is a bit...heavy.
and still, here's some other stuff to check out.

Lost - Verax
I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy
Before I Forget - Slipknot
The Day That Never Comes - Metallica
Indestructible - Disturbed
Green Tinted Sixties Mind - Mr Big
Jesus Of Suburbia - Green Day
Pork and Beans - Weezer
Pieces - Sum 41
Rockstar - Nickelback
It's Not My Time - 3 Doors Down
Krwlng - Linkin Park (the Reanimation version)

To top off the music update, here's a list of Avenged Sevenfold songs.
The nicer ones. A lot.

A Little Piece of Heaven
Afterlife
Almost Easy
Bat Country
Beast And The Harlot
Blinded In Chains
Brompton Cocktail
Chapter Four
Critical Acclaim
Dancing Dead
Dear God
Girl I Know
Gunslinger
I Won't See You Tonight Pt. 1
Lost
M.I.A
Remenissions
Scream
Second Heartbeat (Live in the LBC)
Sidewinder
To End The Rapture
Unholy Confessions
Warmness On The Soul

speaking of bands, there are two music based competitions coming up.

One, there is the Battle of the Bands.
Held in Singapore at some international school.
More details later, I don't know if entry is over or not.
But Martin got me to join...brainwashing? Subliminal messages? ESP?
I don't know. But there are 3 of us. All guitarists.
If we make it through the auditions, I'll ROFLMAOL all the way home.

With more hope, the FOA.
Held in EC in Johor Bahru.
It will be later in the year, maybe during the June holidays.
Thing is, anyone can join. Anyone.
So...calling all tards' again.
Anyone who can play in a band spam the cbox.
Bugs, Street2Fifa, Martin, me and another non-tard can play guitar.
Bugs also doesn't mind vocals, neither do I but Bugs is better. I think.
Yan Feng should do drums. He plays freaking sick.
Dumbortz as keyboard? Last I heard, he was qualified to teach piano. o_O

Oh and speaking of Dumbortz...
Any 'tard can prove the rumour that he found another..TSN
you know..Tan. Shing. Nevermind.
HaAAHAHAaaaaaaaaaHAAAAAAAAAAA
I also have been prone to laughing fits recently.
Must be the air.

[J0HnA55]

update(?)

First up, happy bday J0N0!!!
May ur a55 be pwnED..uh...ur a55 be pwning!
your one is kinda easy to remember..8th Jan eh.

Second, Rock Band is fun.
Yes, it is. But...
please be careful while drumming.
don't grip the sticks too hard.
I was whackin like mad, then i wondered...why does my finger hurt?
I looked..to see that the skin had been RUBBED off.
One big piece crumpled up.
Then the pain hit. LoL.
Not that bad, but no more drummin for a while =(
so...you get the picture.

Third, this internet connection is laggy.
I'm outta here.

[J0HnA55]

...And all things will end?

Maybe. Anywayv this year is ending. Not sure that I'm lookin forward to next...
O Levels. =(
But anyway, you gotta say that this one was not bad.
Even with stuff like PMR.
Speakin of PMR..
'grats to all who did well.
'grats to all who didn't.
If you did well, you gonna be happy I suppose.
If you didn't do well, oh well. -_- you can try to be happy.

so...to end of this year of stupidity (our 2nd)
I will finally..post all the videos and the updates.
Yeah, it'll take lots of time...but it's worth it.

what's first? hmm...

...I know...
it's what y'all been waitin for.

JP'08!!!!
yeah. it went along smoothly(?)
Xtreme Hitz wasn't ready, so I burned an A7X disc there. left it behind too =(
Lots of Halo 3 mixed with CoD 4 and a bit of some fighting game..
think it was DC VS Mortal Kombat or something like that.
we watched 4 and a half hours of South Park =D
freakin hilarious. especially Imaginationland..one and a half hours..haha
the band stuff wasn't that great, but it was still fun.
mostly everyone took turns trying out the drums and the guitar.
yan feng brought an amp so we had an electric, an acoustic and drums.
keyboard didn't work. ask J.
oh yeah, and J kept playing Stand By Me.
the worst was when he played it on my electric, LOUD. in the morning.
when some of us were sleepin.
daaamn, i hate that song now -_-
but yeah J's not bad. Yan feng's drums are OWNAGE. (well at least to [US])
we did Beast and the Harlot by a7x...up to the chorus. my guitar wasn't good enough.
but soon, maybe. yeah.
but what set this JP apart?
well, every year, since P2 i think, we had water fights/battles/wars
depending on size of house and number of people..hehe
but always, the highlights were at MP (my house) and JP.
somehow these two parties had largest number of water guns.
every year, the battles get better and better.
starting around P6, when we had street warfare at my house.
chased JJ and madridista around my neighbourhood
then in sec 1, we had "armour" at JP (boxes)
last year, we had a breakthrough. we played in the rain.
of course, it was disorderly. nobody knew what was happening.
but this year...what happened?
we played. at night.
started at 10pm, finished about 12.30 (past midnight)
it was awesome. not too dark, not too bright. J has quite a few lights in his garden.
we played something like assault in halo3 and CoD4.
simple, really. divided into two teams, 5 of us in assault, 4 in defense.
the defenders get 2 hoses and 2 guns. They defend the hoses.
the attackers get 5 guns, and they need to turn off both hoses to win.
if anyone gets shot, they have to retreat to their starting position.
a bit difficult for the attackers to win though. the game drags very long.
the hose positions were difficult too. the defenders had only 2 approach methods.
oh and although ppl tried hiding in all sorts of places...one really stood out.
let's just say...dumbortz started it. he went...fishing.

that's right. he hid in...the fish pond.
he was hiding underwater...with the hose.
we never saw him coming.
as I ran back, after getting shot, I talked to Elson (on my team):

JA: uhh..elson?
E: yeah?
JA: how long since the pond got cleaned?
E: (laughing) a year ago.
JA: ....

and I thought to myself... how much shit can fish produce in a year?

by the end, nearly everyone had gotten into the pond.
but dumbortz was the only one who went underwater.
he was the only one who itched afterwards.

then we had a power slide competition.

here are the pics and vids.
Disclaimer: this post has tons of 'em. may be laggy.
for the weird pictures of bugs, here are instructions.
1) save all three pictures on your computer
2) put them in a new folder.
3) copy bugsanimation(1).jpg
4) rename it to bugsanimation(4).jpg
5) make sure they are in order. the one without a number first, (4) the last.
6) open the first one and press the right arrow key. continously.

if you did it correctly, you get a stupid animation.
congratulations.
































































the last two are of us in the pond.
the lighting was poor for camera. so the vid is also dark.




NOTE. there seems to be a problem. i can only insert one. what. the hell.
umm, meet me if you wanna see the others =D
not my fault ok? honest.

anyway, here are some random pics.
first up, I got an a7x tattoo!!!!1!
A Deathbat (their logo) on my hand.
believe it? or not.


...not.
I did it with pen. was bored. lol.

then, a pic of my guitar.

remember the ball stuck in the arcade? (previous post)
can't remember who did it. check it out.
but this photo proves that someone else dumber is out there...

and finally, here's one of Diablo 2. It's a RPG on PC.
if you played it before, this photo will be pretty surprising.
look carefully.....

btw, it's a level 99 necromancer with 40 skeletons.
I hacked, ok?


































































for the rest of the vids, i'm trying to put it in a zip file.
then i'll make it available for download somewhere, k?

so anyway, it's been a good year, overall.
granted, many of the things that were supposed to happen went wrong.
but we should be grateful that so many others went right.
from bein' jackasses at Giant to playing Daytona at the arcade
from retarded school videos to goin to the studio
from frying my router (not literally) to disturbing students at my centre
from capturing the fag in halodude's pool to the mass KS breakout on Bugs' bday
from power slides to burnt pizza
from MP'08 to JP'08 and all the other parties
from Malaysia to Singapore, Indonesia, Australia and New Zealand.

it's been one retarded year. thanks for the memories.

Happy New Year.


[J0HnA55]

...

.....omg
we made it.
JP is gonna be on the 19th and 20th.
everyone can make it!!! (well..nearly everyone. I'm still persuading)
the freakin' relief...I can't describe it (sounds stupid, I know)
but I tend to get retarded at this kinda stuff.
well..all kinds of stuff.

I'M OFF TO CELEBRATE!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[J0HnA55]

*sigh*

things aren't the way they used to be.
seriously...remember that song by Yellowcard? Shadows and Regrets?
I made a post about something like that further down anyway.. see it if you want.

well if you think about it, things have changed a lot since back then.
most obvious, we don't have enough time. we're all busy with schedules and stuff.
so arranging stuff...lke, a party, is more difficult. (know what I'm gettin at?)
k. enough already. bad news. JP is going to shit.

...why am I not surprised?

here's the situation:

JP takes place on the 18th and 19th.

Current details -
Halodude is on holiday. He's out.
S0aP L0Rd is going on school trip.
I've got some course and shit on the 17th and 18th.
Dumbortz is in Korea.
Street2Fifa probably won't make it if I don't go.
(anyway he's in deep shit for something)

and that's not all.

Uncle Tai has gone to KL. So we have to take our own transport.
And how we gonna do that? This ain't a few years ago.
Find someone's parents who are willing to drive us to Kulai?
...so we take taxi.
Aha, a good solution!
BUT...some of our parents won't allow us to take taxi all the way to Kulai.
So if we go ahead with the arranged date...

here's who is turning up

Bugs
Lord Megadeath
J0N0 (?)
Dumbortz (?)

Not sure if J0N0's dad will let him take taxi...
and if Dumbortz can, or if he's back from Korea.

...see the problem?
and we won't have 8 player 360 (cuz only I have the xbox wireless adapter)
and the electric guitar (I'm the only one)
and XtRemE HitZ (duh)
and the South Park season (by Street2Fifa)
and the extra laptops for LAN (soap lord too)
and the controllers and 360 (halodude)
and even the water guns (dumbortz??? u there?)

well, there's an alternative though.
if...IF...
if J can move it to the 19th and 20th. IF.
now this is where it gets tricky.
my dad has volunteered to bring me, and TWO of us, to JP.
here's the catch.
the two of them...are J0N0 and street2fifa.
don't ask why. I can't answer any better than you can.
I can only bring the electric guitar if the two of them ONLY go.

...well...it should be pretty obvious.
would I trade a piece of metal and wires for y'all?
its bros before hos. (assumin my guitar is a girl)
so we'll just make do with acoustics.

BUT.
my dad only will take the two of them, ANYWAY.
plus our luggage, my car's gonna be pretty full.
tried bargaining..didn't work.
lucky enough that we've got half the transport ready.
for the others, i suppose you should go ahead with the original plan, except its on the 19th instead.
Uncle Tai is sending us back so don't worry about that.

so..this plan all depends on asking J to convince his parents to postpone it.
well, I tried asking him last night.
unfortunately, he seems a little more dense than usual.
he laughed a lot and then the line was cut.
so I called again. and he said, well, it's your loss...not mine.
also, he said his balls were with bugs, so he couldn't talk properly.
good explanation? retarded one I guess.
and anyway...I'm waiting.
No answer from his phone. and time grows shorter...

so anyway, I'll post again when I get the news.
for now, when it comes, if it comes...
all of you who get to go, enjoy it.
cuz things change over time...
and how long do you think this will last?

[J0HnA55]

*update* Dumbortz is back from Korea. probably can make it

Prepare Yourselves. It's Coming.

I'm sure y'all know what "it" is.
Well, it's not what you think it may be. (especially Bugs)
Its probably what you think it could be, especially what you hope it will be.

IT'S JP 08! HELL YEAH!
18 - 19 December (well duh)

who's goin? as far as I know...

Dumbortz
Bugs
J0n0
S0ap LorD
Lord Megadeth
Street2fifa
and of course...me

too bad Halodude couldn't make it.
He's missed FIVE PARTIES already (two JPs, two MPs and Bugs' bday)
let's leave three lines in this post as a mark of respect.



As I was saying...
We're meeting at Sweethome Kopitiam (Taman Pelangi, near Leisure Mall)
Bugs kopitiam is closed. on thursdays. so we meet next door =D (which is Sweethome)
at 12 noon. have your own lunch first (you can always eat there lol)

IMPORTANT

BRING MONEY FOR TAXI
At least RM15
Uncle Tai is away, so we'll need to order 2 taxis to bring us to Kulai.
If the cost is lower, keep your money!
Simple. Sweet. Effective. Expensive?
Daamn...

Also -
Clothes
Towel
Water Guns (empty balloons too)
Music
Consoles (Lord Megadeth BRING YOUR 360 OMG PLS)
anything else you want.

I'm burnin an unusual number of CDs.
At least one A7X, one for Anberlin, 2 metal compilations and of course, XtreMe HitZ.

Street2Fifa is bringing a SEASON of South Park. it's freaking funny.

Well, that's all the news on JP I suppose.
Videos and shit coming next post (sorry, I know. Keep getting delayed)
oh and...I GOT AN ELECTRIC GUITAR!!! (next post too)

[J0HnA55]

........

I don't know what I just said...
But I know I just said it. - Bugs

Genius.

Anyway...movies on your mind, anyone?
I saw some..(and want to see more too =D)

First up, Quantum Of Solace.
All thos who understood the plot say "Aye".



(silence)


Aha. I thought so. The action, special effects are nice. But the plot...wtf?
I didn't understand a shit (neither did Bugs, and we don't think its cuz of 'tardity)
Ah well.

Madagascar 2 was freakin funny. Seriously.

There was this part where they had no water, so they decided to sacrifice someone...
by throwing him into the volcano. Then the leader said:

"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses"

Probably the accent too (King Julien the Lemur...the one that likes to move it)
But anyway Megadeath said it fits for JP.
Maybe when it comes...let's speculate later. Just. In. Case.

And there was a random trailer...
where someone said, "You have no brain"
then the reply was, "Turns out you don't need one"

Fitting.

Twilight is coming out soon. Based on a great book series.


About JP, this is the first time in history we had a waiting list. (well not really)
Ppl are just more obvious about trying to get there.
And J seems to be reducing the numbers of the chosen.

ARISE, FELLOW 'TARDS!
REVOLT! REBEL! RIOT!
ONE FOR ONE AND ALL FOR ALL, Y'ALL! (leeched)

Or maybe we could discuss it nicely with him.
You decide.

[J0HnA55]

It's that time of year again...

When stupidity REIGNS!!!
Happy Holidays y'all!

(hope you saw Street2Fifa's greetings)

Well...whatever we've had on: PMR, camps, re-exams (yeah me only i know)
We still get at least a month and a half. Not baad. Not bad at all.
How not to be bored:

1)GAMES

HOlY Shit. Look at those games.
- Red Alert 3
- Gears of War 2
- Fable 2
- Spore
- And it goes on and on and on (just to name a few)

lots of titles out. play. go forth and PLAY. dammit.

2)MUSIC
oh yeaaah.
wait. see the bottom of this post for more information.

3)RETARDITY
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
send us photos and videos of your retardity.
We WILL promote you (unless you're platinum already)
(but send em' in anyway)

kk anyway, a short distraction... (creds to Geetha for this - see Blogz)
(I edited some of the answers. original at the abovementioned)

Ever had trouble writing a letter? Use this template and gain all the confidence you need! 100% guaranteed to work. Satisfaction rates are classified. Any physical, mental or emotional harm that comes to you from using this template has nothing to do with me. or [US]. Use the survey below to fill the template.

*Template:Dear (whoever):I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) (11).___12___,(Your name)

-1. WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR SHIRT?
Blue - You have 48 hours left to live
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'm joining the monastery
Black - My ass hurts
Green - Our horoscopes don't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - The Russians are coming
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. WHICH IS YOUR BIRTH MONTH?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit
April - When you put cuffs on me
May - When I got lost
June - When I tripped on sesame seeds
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When September ended
October - When we skinny dipped
November - When your dog got rabies
December - When my car blew up

3. WHICH FOOD DO YOU PREFER?
Tacos - In your teepee
Pizza - On your bed
Pasta - At the mental hospital
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate munchies
Chicken - In Bat Country
Kebabs - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the graduation party
Lasagna - Across the border
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR SOCKS?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Fall head over heels onto
Barefoot- Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR UNDERWEAR?
White - Your father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Black - My fart balloon
Brown - A disabled llama
Purple - My mustard bottle
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My nightstand collection
Pink - The Black Rabbits' goalkeeper
None - The Statue of Liberty
Other - The crazy monk

6. WHAT DO YOU PREFER TO WATCH ON TV?
Cartoons - Spastic
Anime - Weird
Music Videos - Hungry
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - Drunk
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. YOUR MOOD RIGHT NOW?
Happy - How enthusiastic I've felt
Sad - How boring this is
Bored - That Santa Doesn't Exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That the kettle is boiling over
Excited - That something is out there
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That Sasquatches can fly
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That we are the shadows and cannot be seen
Other - That High School Musical sucks

8. WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR WALLS IN YOUR BEDROOM?
Yellow - Your love letters
White - Your common sense
Red - Your Darth Vader poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your virginity
Grey - Our matching underwear
Purple - Your old parking coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories

9. THE FIRST LETTER OF YOUR FIRST NAME?
A/B - Your photo album
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My peanut shells
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your jackass collection
M/N - Your dog's spleen
O/P - Bob Marley
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your used tissue
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - The strawberry river
Y/Z - Half of the table

10. THE LAST LETTER IN YOUR LAST NAME?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. WHAT DO YOU PREFER TO DRINK?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - Your new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. TO WHICH COUNTRY WOULD YOU PREFER TO GO ON A VACATION?
Thailand - This message will self-destruct in 10..9..8..
USA - Salutations from the Motherland
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - Unwilling to write this
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Boo-hoo now
France - In pain
Malaysia - Your a55 be pwn3d
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Examples

Dear Bugs: I don't really know how to tell you this, but my ass hurts. I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds at the mental hospital and I saw you carve your intials into a disabled llama. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that Sasquatches can fly. I'm returning your common sense to you, but I'll keep your dog's spleen as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities about your new life as a clone. Your a55 be pwn3d, J0HnA55.

Dear J0HnA55: I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it when I got lost in women's clothing...(you get the idea)

Anyway
IT's That Time Of Year...
WHEN JP IS COMING!!!!
Somewhere in December 1st to 10th..
no other info.
sorry lol..

J0HnA55

More Stubs

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........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\......../¯˝\.......\....\...\'\........

........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...').…('…'\~¯....`...`…)')…..

.........\.................'...../….…\.....'................./……

..........''...\.......... _.·´….. ….`·._............./..."……

............\..............(..………….) ............../……..

..............\.............\................./ ............./……..

From Street2Fifa

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

This Post is a Stub.

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
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............\..............(
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THIS POST IS LONG OVERDUE.

yeah. what he said.

wait a minute...he is me.
So if what he said is what I said,
this is him doing this post.

let's not go into it...

sorry that this post is like two months late, really busy..
what with exams and all that shit.
firstly, good luck to all taking their PMR this year.
keep goin. wanna see y'all at JP'08, YEEAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! (anticipation started liao)

random quotes:
"I think, therefore I am." - Rene Descartes, intellectual dude
"I think, therefore I not be tard." - [J0HnA55], SUPREME LEADER

but think you must, if you are to remain happy. (you know what I mean)
there are inspirational (?) pictures at the end of this post.
you know...the kind with a picture, a word below, and a message.
whether they inspire you or not... well...

first things first,
AP'08 was not bad.
more dudes came along this time.
usual halo 3, new map called Cold Storage (not the supermarket, douchebaaaaag)

Best Player: Zul
Achievements: Pwnt. Everybody. Xcept' Halodude, who was inactive as usual anyway.
Quote: Wah Die!

Worst Player: Twit
Achievements: Got Pwnt. By Everybody. Including Halodude.
Quote: &@#&% &%@ $c&$#@% &@$#%@&$#%&$% &#@ &@$#&@$ &%@ @&&$#!!!

We played Gears of War as well (Lester/Satesh brought it, can't remember who)
Halodude was hooked...played all the way until the Berserker.

Then during the usual BBQ, we did loads of dumb stuff...can't remember all.
We did parodies of Tenacious D...sooo bored.
It. Was. Retarded. (Why am I not surprised?)
Michael and Xie Hang were Jables and Kage, I was Beezelboss.
at the end, twit dragged me along the floor (beezelboss falls back into the hole)
everyone was laughing like mad dogs.
we also did power slides!
twit brought leg guards, we took turns slidin'
and that brings us to the second record holder;
For being promoted from Bronze to Gold during the same day he joined...
??????? (I FORGOT HIS NAME. oops)
he did teh power slide.
came running, shouted, jumped, slid.
ripped his jeans at the knees. open.
took the pic but its with someone. post it later.

only other record holder is Ichabot (kenny)
he borrowed some watches and wore all eight to assembly (2 hours due to performance)


next up on the list,

United Stupidity's band is IN PROGRESS!
really.
the lineup is a bit screwed up:

Martin - Lead Guitar
Ichabot (Kenny) - Rhythm Guitar
J0HnA55 (me) - Drums/Vocals

told you it was screwed up.
Bugs was supposed to be the vocalist...
but he went and joined Untold Prophecy or Prophecy Untold or sumthin like that.
H4Xx0r.
anyway he suggested a name...

Prophets
Of
Retard
Nation

figure it out yourself. that name has BUGS written all over it.

i'm vocalist cuz the other two don't even wanna try.
they say that they can't sing without starting an apocalypse.
I should sing cuz I only start a disaster.

...see the logic?

Bands that we may cover:
Avenged Sevenfold
Green Day
Disturbed
Metallica
Bowling For Soup
Nirvana
Radiohead
and of course,
Tenacious D! WE REIGN!

speakin of bands...

Anberlin.
they rock.
- A Whisper And A Clamor
- Godspeed
- Paperthin Hymn
- A Day Late
- Inevitable
just to name a few.
check it out.

and...

quiet, you might piss somebody off...

He who makes a beast out of himself
Gets rid of the pain of being a man...

Self righteousness is wearing thin
I'll bleed but not for fellow man...

I feel insane every single time I'm asked to compromise
‘Cause I'm afraid and stuck in my ways and that’s the way it stays..

Like walking into a dream
So unlike what you've seen
A place of hope and no pain
Perfect skies and no rain..

Sometimes I don't know why we'd rather live than die,
We look up towards the sky for answers to our lives.
We may get some solutions but most just pass us by,
Don't want your absolution cause I can't make it right...

With peace of mind so hard to find
We're dwelling on the drastic signs
Another way to numb your mind...

Give me a chance to be the person I wanna be
Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live...

and many mistakes can hurt,
I'm not the last but I'm sure ain't the first!






































AVENGED SEVENFOLD!!!
Need I say more?
Freakin' awesome.

- Almost Easy
- Afterlife
- Lost
- Critical Acclaim
- Dear God
- Bat Country
- Beast And The Harlot

check those out, especially the Almost Easy music video

best of all,

THEY'RE COMING TO SINGAPORE!!!!
24th October, MAX Pavilion @ Singapore Expo
$95 :(
oh well, start savin' up if you're short of cash.
Cause.
They.
Rock.

it's gonna be worth it.

and since I'm having end of year exams now (posted this over 2 days, draft saved)
this is the end of the post.
here are the pics.
enjoy.
be inspired.

AP'08!!! Teh Realz One

AP08 is here!!!
The real AP'08 that is.
The earlier one was AP Junior 08 (hanna's bday)
well sry fr the updates being so slow...
not much time.
and I can't find my handphone transfer cable.
too bad...so many nice new pics and vids...

well anyway.
wanna be famous?
here's a step by step method.

Disclaimer : This idea was totally concieved and carried out by me.
All credits go to me for the idea, and to the people who does it after reading this.
I am not responsible for fires, suffocation, food poisoning etc. caused.
My only regret is not taking videos of the event, I was preoccupied.
Try it. You'll know why.

Presenting...

How NOT to cook a Pizza (pics up in next post)

1)Buy a microwaveable pizza (from a supermarket maybe)
2)Wait for it to be frozen (give a day or two)(in the freezer duh)
3)Unwrap, place in a bowl.
4)Set microwave to 6 minutes (my timing, may differ with microwaves)
Warning: This is the dangerous part.
After 2 min, you should see pizza "melting".
After 5 min and 30 seconds, start recording video.
Take what's happening inside the microwave.
Smoke should be coming out from the ventilation now.
Six min? Stop.
Wear goggles and tie cloth around your mouth.
OPEN The MICROWAVE.
-------------------------------------------------
Green smoke should start filling your kitchen.
With luck, it will fill your whole house.
It happened to me.
The smell stayed for 18 hours or so.
Open all your windows if you're smart.
Just record the smoke coming out, post it somewhere.

Btw, be careful if you're dumb enuf to try this.
I dun want your house to burn down..we're short of tards.
So if you really wanna..make sure you have safety precautions and stuff.
The pizza slice was BLACK.
The bowl was stained black.
The pizza was hard...
Don't taste it. Don't...

Besides that..

AP'08!!!!!
Weee!!!!
the real one. The earlier one was APJunior 08 (hanna's bday)
so we're gonna make retard history again.

8 PPL HALO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woot...

-the band is more successful now.
Although we lack members and instruments...
We made a few riffs, not bad (in general opinion)
May post here, but quality sucks (was taken using handphone)
we're gonna "perform" at AP08.

Members: Martin (guitarist)
Me (drummer/vocals)
Kevin (vocals)
Jackie (trombone)
Instruments: Electric Guitar, Acoustic Guitar and a trombone.
Obviously we don't really need the trombone.
I'm the drummer. I have no drums.
kevin and me probably gonna sing the shit (like shit, for shit)
Songs? Besides our stuff...
We're trying guitar for...
Tribute - Tenacious D
The Metal - Tenacious D
Master Exploder - Tenacious D
Holiday - Green Day
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Those we can "do" anyway. Guitar only tho.

Oh well. Shoestealer's been harrasin me while I post this.
I'ma go kick his ass.

[J0HnA5$]

MP'08 Waz A Blast!!!!!

yeah...it was.
anyway, it's my bday today, but I celebrated a few days back.
Unfortunately, Halodude and Dumbortz couldn't turn up.
However, at least we had Soap Lord, J, Elson, Megadeath, Twit and Bugs.
It was a historic moment in more ways than one.
To all people with 360s...Please get modem/router and connect your 360 to it.
That way, you will be able to play LAN on a wireless network.
CUZ NOW, WE CAN PLAY 8 PPL!!!! WOOOHOOOOO!!!!
yeah, that's right.
eight. freaking. people.
thanks to a wireless adapter on my 360, all we need now are 2 TVs and a router!
A55 gonna be pwn3d often now.
Especially during JP, where there are 3 (i think) tvs.
Weeeeee. WEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Pics coming up soon. Haven't been able to collect em.

Well the ppl started arriving round 2.
Nothing much at first, just blasting a bit of music.
when J arrived, we set up his 360 as well.

---Warning---
This is IMPORTANT.
we learnt it the hard way.

Do NOT: (we did it in this order)
connect the first 360 to a router. (cable)
Connect the router to a hub. (cable)
connect the hub to the second 360. (cable)
i think the point is NOT to use the hub.
cuz after a while, we smelt something..funny.
Burning? more like weird burning. with something else.
then, I looked at the router....

...

the router was SmoKIN!!!
smoke was pouring from the bottom.
The wood below was starting to warp.
Then...the power went off.

so...
you get the point. ehe.

we had six controllers.
Five of us played until Bugs arrived
(soap lord was busy playing DotA AI)
(heresy...i think)
was damn fun.
somehow, megadeath was using Bugs.
So Bugs got other names...like Bones and even SAUSAGE.
haha..people were shouting FRY THE SAUSAGE!!! FRY IT!!!!
played mostly halo...

then some of us moved to DotA...only 2 laptops tho.
I lost all of them...sob sob...
MegaDeath and Bugs were slaughtering me.
Then they thought J to slaughter me.
Waaaaah.

dinner was usual...
plus satay and sausages and stuff.
haha, we dumbasses still playin Pokemon cards.
me and J tag team against bugs and megadeath.
Score?
1-1

not bad...

here's a little sumthin I made.
It's a parody of "Throw the Jew down the well" by Borat.
AKA In My Country there is problem.
Dedicated to Bugs and Dumbortz (who are in the class) and Twit (the subject)
Imagine you are in a class with the three of them. Especially twit (kevin)

Presenting...

In my Tuition there is Problem

This song is called In My Tuition There Is Problem

In my tuition there is problem
And that problem is transport
The student always coming late
Then my teacher get angry

Throw transport down the well
So my teacher can be free
You must make the travel faster
Then we have a big party


In my tuition there is problem
And that problem is aircon
It always never working properly
Then the teacher feeling hot

Throw aircon down the well
So my teacher can be free
You must make the tuition cooler
Then we have a big party


In my tuition there is problem
And that problem is the twit
He always make a lot of trouble
He make my teacher have a fit

Throw Kevin down the well
So my teacher can be free
You must kick him on his ass
Then we have a big party

If you see the twit coming
You must be careful of his pee
You must take away his headphones
Come I show you how to do

Throw Kevin down the well
So my teacher can be free
You must kick him on his ass
Then we have a big party!!!


hahaha
aha
ha

making a parody of I'm A Twit next.

oh and I'm trying to make a Halo Music Video using the clips from the party.

[J0HnA55]

One Year Of Retardity

Well..today is a historic day for us.

This is the first anniversary of United Stupidity.
One year ago on this day, (Halodude's sister's bday)
We formed this group.

Now, from a handful of people...
We have over 30 members.
We had successful events and produced successful things.
JP'07.
Party Boy.
These are just two examples of our accomplishments.

Lasting this long wasn't just luck.
The enthusiasm displayed by our members has not died out yet.
Thanks to that, we continue.
And this blog is still up and running..well.
Also to the guests, who help keep the cbox alive.
And to all of you, for continuing to pwn ass.


Anyway,

THE CAMP IS CANCELLED.
wtf.
can't help it.
I decided to cancel, cause the guest list was reduced to THREE FREAKIN PPL.
You all know, that first, those "unknown" ppl were left out.
Then, people were ticked off one by one.
Now, Bugs has to go off to KL.
I doubt J would want to attend, after my mum cancelled TWO MORE PEOPLE.
Now, there is left Halodude, Martin and me.
Not much of a camp.
Seriously sorry for the failure of this event.
We'll have to find a new location.
Or change our entire plan.
Hopefully, something good will come our way soon.

Good news?
Me, Street2Fifa, Martin, Argo, Zul and Xie Hang are at Halodude's house.
Most of us are stayin over.
Presenting...(tomorrow la)

GAN PUA LE EH CH33 BY3 LIVE!!!!
Martin - Guitar
Me - Vocals
Street2Fifa - Bridge

Its stupid.
More stuff comin up soon.

[J0HnA55]

7 Hours Left To...

But first, let me distract you from the strange title...

WAHOOOOOOOO!!!! EXAMS ARE OVERRR!!!!!!!!!!
yeah. holidays begun for us ppl studying in Singapore lol.
Good luck to the ppz havin their exams soon/now.
May the 'tard be with you.

anyway, first things first.

HAPPY BDAY DUMBORTZ!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well sry dude, I know it's kinda late to post this.
But I had exams so...
-_-''

too bad ya didn't have a big party this year.

I was really bored last night so...I made music videos!
Inspired by Disturbed's "Down With The Sickness", I made two videos.
One featured the movie Hitman, the other the video for Linkin Park's PTS OF ATHRTY.
Kinda amateurish..but not bad for a first try, say the ppl who saw it.
So I be loading it here, or on YouTube. Keep checking...

Now, if you're wondering what is happening in 7 hours...
Which is tomorrow btw...
Tomorrow is a special day.
Those well versed in Retard Lore should know. The answer may be here on the blog.
Anyway...it's gonna be BIG. Sry I can't reveal it yet.
The post should come out later tomorrow afternoon or evening...
That may give you a hint of what's happening.

How do you keep a retard in suspense?




...I'll tell you tomorrow.

[J0HnA55]

Exams delayed the posts. Sorry all.

Well, the heading says it all yo.
lol.

I'm back. So are the others. Got a few announcements to make.

Camp is ON. (MOST LIKELY)
However, attendance is horribly limited....
Really bad. Lots of people cut off
Especially ANYONE WHO MY MUM DOESN'T KNOW!!!! WTF!!!! thx a lot.
So I'm damn sorry to all you guys, have to wait for JP. Can't do anything about it.
I tried...Failed. MY 360 nearly disappeared. Put up a good argument for y'all tho.

Seriously..I wonder why my mum did that. Most cruel move I've seen for years.
She says that next year you all can though. If this year goes well.
Kinda sad that my mum recieves a lot of law work from this particular person instead.
Or else it could have gone better. Well the work is more important anyway.
Haiz...

The sad part. From the Malaysia side, only Dumbortz, Bugs, J and Halodude are allowed
I know this cuts the list even deeper. Spent an hour trying to undo this move.
Of course...had no chance. Can't cancel the whole camp cuz of this. Sorry again.
Especially to those who waited eagerly. Wait a bit more for JP, all can attend then.
Its J's house anyway, his parents don't lose anything if it gets messed up.



Anyway forget all that stuff for now. Lets go on to the good stuff.

We are proud to announce a new section!

Presenting....


RETARD RADIO!!!!
This new segment, done by Ichabot, Martin and me, is dumb. Real dumb.
It features a series of sound clips recorded by us. Stupid clips of course.
Added in with music and special effects....
Produced weekly/fortnightly, a drawback - no production during holidays.
Unless of course, we collaborate on MSN. Which is possible. But harder.

And to top it off, we're GONNA FORM A BAND!!!!
This will be damn hard to pull off.
But there are some plus sides!

Martin has an acoustic guitar, electric guitar, amplifier AND effects (with pedal)
Ichabot has electric guitar and amp too (unfortunately, its in Indonesia)
Dumbortz has a retardedly high grade in piano (so he can play keyboard/synthesizer)

But...

How the hell do we meet up? (members from three different countries)
The only drum set is with J. And he's away all the time. Lives in Kulai. ><
Vocals gonna be..interesting.

Candidates for vocals:

Bugs
Jono
Me

well..bugs is ok.
Jono is in New Zealand. That's definitely out.
Me? I can only do lower tones. High is out for me. And my singing is soft.
Besides, I wanna be drummer ^^

Anyone here can be vocals? Pls tell.
We also need a drum set, synthesizer/keyboard and bass.
Obviously we could use a piano, but which guy is gonna bring his?
We also need a studio for the amps to work. Not many ppl with compatible plugs.
But as for the look of it, it's pretty much ok. See for yourself.

Disclaimer: I Cannot Play The Guitar (Well). That was my 4th time for Acoustic.
Even better, 1st time with Electric Guitar.





















































Actually this may have been a bad idea.
All those people wondering, "WHO THE HELL IS J0HNA55!!!!"
Have now a 50% higher chance of recognizing me.
After all, there are only two of us. LOL.
Took it at Martin's house. One is Ichabot. The other...well...

The sign was taken at a toilet.
I found it...

Interesting.

LOL
[J0HnA55]

HAPPY BDAY BUGS!!! MAY YOUR BALLS....

NEVER DROP OFF!!!!

rite...

it's nothing to do with this video.



if ya remember, Bugs' mum never watched the whole movie (guess why)
so anyways

he was pissed cuz...

WE WERE ALL ACTING LIKE IDIOTS IN HIS KOPITIAM (LOUDLY TOO) !!!!1!!11!

oh well...can help or not?


anywayz...first things first (this post be crammed with pics and vids)




































































well that's us...
Bugs, MegaDeath, Vignesh, Dumbortz and me...
the others I'm not sure tho one guy is called Jacky (lol)

DotA?

we would have owned them.
Me (Zeus), Rtz (Nerubian Assassin), Jacky (Goblin Techies) and ??? (Razor)

VS

Bugs (Enigma), ??? (Troll Warlord), Vignesh (Sand King) and MegaDeath (Bounty Hunter)

We were owning them. Especially Razor

But...that goondu MegaDeath, had to target me...
Had to take Nerubian's DIVINE RAPIER...

oh well.


Speaking of parties, here's a little production by Street2Fifa, Emily and me.




hehe. That was...Party Boy!
Taken from the Jackass game (dancing in underwear in an electronics store)
so why not in swimming trunks in a condo? lol

Now we introduce some of the other members of US.

Martin - Armenian Waste Disposal

This guy...is...random.
Totally random.
Talks bullshit at the weirdest of times.
Likes to look spastic.




























I rest my case
(btw that was taken in China)
He's in charge of the new Retard Radio that is in production.


Ichabot - The Watcher

This guy may have set a record...Bronze to Gold in 24 hours.
By humiliating himself for the sake of stupidity.
Man..he's got potential





























wondered why he's the Watcher?
lol.
And the others are Death and Impressive (all Indonesians)


Btw, the three of us are working on Retard Radio.
It should be a weekly segment if everything goes right.
Trust me, it's spastic.

so just to end off, here's some stuff to think about
















Joke...
















Lame Joke!!!


hahahahahahhahahhaha

Random Stuff

We at United Stupidity shall post on entirely random stuff when necessary.

Street2Fifa at Tuition (Twitisms)?
Maybe we should make this a regular section. Yes! I will!
Starting from now, we shall include several new sections.
Please look out for them.
They are: XtReMe HiTz, Movies and Twitisms (quotes from Street2fifa)
Man..that guy should feel honored...he now has an entire space fr himself.
Well, not much to post now. Can't think.
Possibly even a joke column? Maybe I'll post them here instead.
Well to kick things off..

This one is stupid. You may not understand it at first. But srsly

Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some farkin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more farkin’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the farkin’ French toast."

haha.

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."

A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."

TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well... are you religious?" He said yes. I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant ? "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist" "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

Two ministers doing missionary work in the South Seas are captured by a tribe and tied to stakes. The chief says to them, "You have a choice – death, or ugga bugga." The first guy says, "Well, I guess ugga bugga." The chief shouts "UGGA BUGGA!" and a tribesman takes a spear, stabs his genitals and leaves him to die. The chief then asks the second minister, "Now you have a choice, death or ugga bugga." He says "well, my religion does not allow me to choose ugga bugga, so I suppose it must be death." The chief says, "Very well," and shouts "DEATH...BY UGGA BUGGA!!!"

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on his ass by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?"

Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"


Second Place for this post (subjective)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”


This one is champ. *Warning* Explicit Content (NOT)


A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.
Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both
brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth
grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.
He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"
She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it."

"Why?" he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see" he said.
"Okay" and she pulled up her skirt.
He looked and said, "That's right. You are! ? Better not eat any more chicken."
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said
to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers
down there too!" She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her!

She said, "Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!!

HAHAHAAAHA

I know it's kinda late, but Happy April's Fools Day.

Woah woah, yeah yeah
I know you hate me
Woah woah, yeah yeah
For prank calling you

HAhaaaHAaHhahA. Parody of Happy Birthday by the Click Five

well to kick this off,

More Videos From YouTube!

This time its Misheard Lyrics!
Get the original lyrics first before you watch for maximum laughter.

Bulls On Parade - RadioHead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MjST18L7V8&feature=related

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-NZWtTJYI

Dragostea Din Tei - OZone (Numa Numa) - This is the best so far-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfEE_nYehZ8&feature=related

This Ain't A Scene
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LucfKdukf10&feature=related

Dance Dance (test recording)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7HulbCjkUs&feature=related

Temperature - Sean Paul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfXke_z6t3I&feature=related

Holiday - Green Day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzvODQSh9Rg&feature=related

All freakin stupid.



Next up, here are some jokes. This is seriously stupidly funny.
(Please be patient. They sound lame at first but...you'll see)

There was once a peanut and a muah chee. They lived in the same town, attended the sane schools and graduated together. The peanut became a lawyer, the muah chee became a doctor. Both jobs were problematic and the two went to a bar to relax. The peanut ordered a martini while the muah chee wanted beer. They both got drunk eventually and started arguing. Soon, they were fighting and the bartender threw them both out. Still angry, they rented a boat and rowed to the middle of a lake. There they continued their epic fight until THE PEANUT PUSHED THE MUAH CHEE INTO THE LAKE.

Now...what is better? Peanut or Muah Chee?

Peanut!!! It is smarter!!! It pushed the Muah Chee in!!! AHAHAAHAHAAHAHAA

There lived a freaking rich family. Their house had a golden roof, golden walls, golden ceiling, golden tiles, golden pillars, golden tables, golden chairs, golden stools, golden doors, golden windows, golden bathroom, golden toothbrush, golden toothpaste, golden sink, golden taps, golden mirror, golden pipes, golden toilet bowl, golden garden, golden flowers, golden grass, golden trees, golden dog, golden servants and more. They were bored. So, they boarded a golden plane, with golden tickets, and travelled to a golden country, where they got in a golden limousine with a golden chauffeur that drove them to a golden restraunt because they were hungry. They sat down with the golden forks, golden spoons, golden knives, golden chopsticks, golden bowls, golden plates, golden cups and golden trays.
TWO PEOPLE ORDERED NASI LEMAK, ONE PERSON ORDERED MEE SIAM.

What is better? Nasi Lemak or Mee Siam?

...Nasi Lemak!!! HAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHHAAHAHLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

There lived a king and a princess. The princess fell in love with a villager, and the king was very angry. He forbade her to see the villager. So she ran away with him, and the king was even angrier. He got on his magic horse and picked up his magic bow, magic arrows, magic sword, magic knife, magic dagger, magic axe, magic mace, magic spear, magic lance, magic trident, magic pistol, magic machine gun, magic flamethrower and magic BFG. Then he rode through the magic mountains, magic swamp, magic desert, magic jungle, magic forest, magic tundra and magic city before coming to a lake. The princess and villager were sitting by the lake. Taking aim, he shot the villager. The village fell into the lake. The princess screamed and jumped in to save him. WHAT DID THE PRINCESS FIND?

...















...






THE MUAH CHEE!!!!!!!!















ok. finished cracking up yet?


Next one.



What has a big head and a small body?


An ikan bilis with a helmet!!!

AhAHAHAAHHA


A plane was travelling across an ocean. There were 20 passengers on board. They were; the pilot, the co-pilot, the stewardess, the engineer, a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a businessman, a sailor, a soldier, a student, a chicken, President Bush, Borat, Homer Simpson, Barney,a father, his son and a retard.

The plane's engine exploded in midair. It began to lose altitude.
There were seventeen parachutes.

The crew had four with them, they used theirs and jumped out immediately.
Thirteen left.

The six working adults and the student all said they had a bright future.
So they jumped out too.
Six parachutes left.

Borat grabbed the chicken, stuffed it into his suitcase as a replacement (Azamat ate it during the documentary) and jumped out. Five parachutes, six people.

Bush, Homer and Barney jumped out. Of course, with their parachutes. Yeah.
Two left, for the father, the son and the retard.

The father said, "Son, I have lived my life well. You have a long future ahead of you. However, that retard needs a parachute as well, so climb onto my back and I'll jump"

So they jumped together and landed safely (after a while of course)



The retard kicked the parachute out of the plane and jumped after it. WHY???

...


Cuz he was a retard.




Two robbers decided to rob a bank. They broke in, only to find it deserted. They were surprised, but happy. They made their way to the safe to find it wide open, with billions of dollars inside. Stuffing them into their sacks, they left warily. Looking outside the bank from the window, they did not see any police around. They saw an ice cream truck, which they planned to hijack, however, two men and a bear got into it and drove off. Instead, they planned to run to their home, only a hundred metres from the bank. The street was deserted. THE MOMENT THEY STEPPED OUT, THEY DIED. WHY?





THE RETARD FELL ON THEM!!!!!


Down the road, there was a motorcycle. Whose was it?



THE IKAN BILIS WITH THE HELMET!!!!

AHAHAHAHAH
AHA
HA
HA
HA
HAAA
HAH
AA
HA
HAA
AAH
AHA


lol.

Hope you enjoyed this bullshit.
More jokes in next post.



On other news, we've got another candidate for HQ.

MoneySeeker's dad allows us to use a room in his house. WITH TV, AIRCON AND FURNITURE

WEEH